Come Monday...Spartacus: Blood and Sand

“Come Monday…” is a weekly series that will involve a review of, or commentary about, websites, movies, documentaries, television shows, sports, music, and whatever else may tickle my fancy at the time. Be assured that these reviews will be generally positive, as in accordance to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday.” This is subject to change, however. In fact, I would be most derelict in my duties to neglect going on a rant every once in a while. For rants promote change, and change can be good—right? Therefore, since good is generally considered as being a positive force in 99.3% of the parallel universes that I am aware of, even a rant could be considered as being something positive, and a genuine hissy-fit would be even better (so I’m told).

Link: [On YouTube]

Methinks that our Heavenly Father may have ruined “me” (so to speak). For after watching the first episode of the [Starz] original series, [Spartacus: Blood and Sand], all I felt was disgust and disappointment.

Come on now, what is wrong with me? For it had all of the elements that I used to delight in—graphic sex and violence, along with a heavy dose of political intrigue.

Perhaps it is a case of too much of a good thing, but I do not think so. For I have never even considered the possibility that seeing too much of what ladies who look like [Erin Cummings] has to offer could happen. Hey, in the case of [Viva Bianca] in the first episode, we are talking about FULL frontal nudity here!

No, we are not necessarily talking about soft porn. Well, at least not a cheap production. For the show does have a plot.

Those who have never seen [Gladiator], nor [HBO’s Rome], might even enjoy what is going on between scenes of naked bodies writhing in sexual ecstasy and computer-generated slow-motion shots of gushing blood. For it is based upon the exploitation of lesser peoples for the glory of the [Roman Empire].

To get more specific about it, the plot of Spartacus: Blood and Sand starts off with [Glaber], the commander of a Roman Legion, giving a representative group from [Thrace] an offer that they basically cannot refuse, which is to join with him in a rearguard action against a horde of barbarians from the north. When Glaber sees that one of his rivals is in a better position to gain prominence against a greater threat to the empire in the east, he chooses to march his forces there, which would leave the homes of the Thracians defenseless. This forces [Spartacus] to choose between his oath to support the Romans and the possible loss of his drop-dead gorgeous wife, who is played by the aforementioned Ms. Cummings. Needless to say, he chooses to go save his wife, which embarrasses Glaber, who tracks them down and forces both into slavery.

Well, almost. For Spartacus is actually scheduled for death at the hand of four gladiators in front of a roaring crowd for the pleasure and political gain of Glaber’s father-in-law, but Spartacus wasn’t so willing to go along with the script. You can probably figure out where the rest of the story is going on your own.

In all fairness, the producers of the show were able to sign some fairly big names. For [Lucy Lawless], of [Xena: Warrior Princess] fame, and [John Hannah], who you may recognize from [The Mummy] movie series, play key roles.

Maybe they saw something in the show that I missed? I don’t see how. For my eyes were really wide-open for the entire hour. In fact, my mouth was even fully [agape] at times!

No, I do not think I am turning into a prude, but something is going on. Hopefully, my resistance will prove futile.

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