Monday, September 3, 2012

Come Monday...American Hoggers

“Come Monday…” is a weekly series that will involve a review of, or commentary about,  websites, movies, documentaries, television shows, sports, music, and whatever else may tickle my fancy at the time.  Be assured that these reviews will be generally positive, as in accordance to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday.”  This is subject to change, however.  In fact, I would be most derelict in my duties to neglect going on a rant every once in a while.  For rants promote change, and change can be good—right?  Therefore, since good is generally considered as being a positive force in 99.3% of the parallel universes that I am aware of, even a rant could be considered as being something positive, and a genuine hissy-fit would be even better (so I’m told).

[American Hoggers] is a show that is currently airing new episodes at 9:00 p.m. CDT Wednesdays on A&E.  It stars [Jerry Campbell] and his family as they hunt for feral hogs in Texas and neighboring states.

Now, those who have not seen me in a while might think that the included image is of me.  It is not, but I must admit that I was headed in that direction.  For my last [Stetson] was looking about that ragged, and our body types are awfully (quite literally) close.

No, that is not all about him that might remind people from my past of me.  For before our Heavenly Father put me through the change, my way of expressing myself was every bit as “colorful” as his.  In fact, the producers of the show might have worn out their expletive button while trying to come up with enough footage to pass muster with the [FCC rules] for the very first episode.  (Be assured that this is not something that I have fond memories of being like.)

As for the show itself, I have only been able to watch one episode so far.  For in order to make it more entertaining, they are having them do some really stupid stuff.

Well, at least I hope that this is the case.  For I can’t imagine the Campbell clan still being in that business if as it appears on the show is actually the way they do things, such as taking their horses into strange (to them) swampland in Louisiana and spending more time fussing at each other than hunting hogs.

Oh, but they are perfect for a reality show like this—right?  For here is a crusty old codger with a couple of hot daughters chasing feral hogs all over the place for the entertainment of city folks, who have no idea what should be happening.

Just in case you are curious, the feral hogs they are mostly chasing have not made it to razorback status yet.  For a true razorback is at least a third or fourth generation feral hog that has completely adapted to the wild life while still retaining some lack of fear for humans.

Needless to say, that combination makes a true razorback a lot more dangerous to hunt than the feral hogs the Campbells are going after on the show.  For they will start hunting the hunter when they get tired of running, and a good-sized razorback can easily maim a horse and even kill a dog—not to mention any humans they can get ahold of.

No, I have never actually hunted for a razorback, nor a feral hog of any kind, but I do have some experience with how hard it can be to kill a hog at times.  For years ago, the day came to butcher one of the hogs that I had been fattening up to eat and I had failed to make sure that I had the right ammo on hand.  So, instead of heading out to the pen with my trusty [.30-30 Winchester], the only shells I could find around the house were some [.22 long rifles] and [12 gauge slugs].  To make a fairly long story somewhat shorter, I wound up shooting the [barrow] squarely in the forehead with one of the 12 gauge slugs, which dropped him immediately.  While I was in the process of cutting his throat to start draining the blood, he stood up and started letting out what sounded like a deep growl.  Despite not making any threatening moves toward me, that hog standing up scared me worse than I have been scared in my life (before and since).  After I was finally able to start actually butchering him, I cut open his head and found that the 12 gauge slug that I had shot him with the first time had completely removed his brain.

So, I can appreciate how many shots the Campbells sometime take to put a feral hog down, but I still have a lot of trouble with the way they get there.  Yeah, even after my experience with the hog that wouldn’t die, I wish I was still healthy enough to go show them how it should be done.

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  1. this sounds like a show that I don't mind missing

  2. Thanks for stopping by again, my dear Ann!!! Probably wise.


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