A week or so ago, we received a marketing survey in the mail from the [Gorman-Scharpf Funeral Home]. The following in purple and italics is my response to their efforts to generate some more business.
My wife and I saw one of your television commercials the other day while watching an episode of The Burns & Allen Show on Antenna TV. We both felt like it was a very well-produced ad that presented your services in a very dignified manner.
Ah, but the damage had already been done. For we received your marketing survey in the mail a few days before.
In all fairness, we got a big kick out of it at first. Well, at least in regards to the envelope that asked, “Can you help us?” For the only ways we could think of to help a funeral home would be to die or kill someone.
Your television commercial had an older gentleman helping some people, and I hope you really do have someone like him, who might have enough sense left to realize what an AWFUL mistake it was to resort to direct solicitation through the mail.
Making it even worse was that the solicitation was addressed to the Lozano family, which is my 76 year-old mother-in-law’s last name, and she just lives with us. Did a marketing-major advise targeting people who have a high likelihood of not lasting much longer in accordance to statistics?
Alas, an old family friend was Doyle Williamson, who ran his family’s funeral home in Cassville and served as the Barry County Coroner for a number of years. I wonder what he would think of current funeral homes sinking to direct solicitation to generate business. Yes, the legal disclaimer with the “survey” probably covers you from being sued, but you sure won’t get any of our business.
I emailed that last Saturday (April 18) and we have not heard a peep back. In all fairness, I do not know if buzzards even can peep.
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