ATF: Weird Al-ed

This series will include as many of my all-time favorite (ATF) tunes as I can get my grubby little hands on (so to speak).  Now, each one included in each edition will have some connection with the other—albeit only as a figment of my imagination, but they will not be numbered.  For I just cannot bring myself to rate some higher than others.  So, this will not be a countdown, but if you are enjoying them as much as I do, it won’t matter.  Besides, with no countdown, this could go on forever and ever!  Oh, and despite the fact that there is absolutely no way your musical tastes could be as exquisite as mine, I welcome any suggestions you might dare to make.  For I am, after all, quite magnanimous by nature.

Link: [Coolio]

Gangsta’s Paradise

Coolio

You want to tell me what this is all about?

As I walk through the valley

Of the shadow of death

I take a look at my life

And realize there’s not much left

‘Cause I’ve been blastin’

And laughin’ so long that

Even my mama thinks

That my mind is gone

But I ain’t never crossed a man

That didn’t deserve it

Me be treated like a punk

You know that’s unheard of

You better watch how you talkin’

And where you walkin’

Or you and your homies

Might be lined in chalk

I really hate to trip

But I gotta loc’

As they grew I see myself

In the pistol smoke fool

I’m the kinda G

The little homies wanna be like

On my knees in the night

Sayin’ prayers in the street light

Been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

Been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

We keep spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

We keep spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

They got the situation

They got me facin’

I can’t live a normal life

I was raised by the strip

So I gotta be down

With the hood team

Too much television watchin’

Got me chasin’ dreams

I’m an educated fool

With money on my mind

Got my ten in my hand

And a gleam in my eye

I’m a loc’ed out gangsta

Set-trippin’ banger

And my homies is down

So don’t arouse my anger fool

Death ain’t nothin’

But a heartbeat away

I’m livin’ life do-or-die-a

What can I say

I’m twenty-three now

But will I live to see twenty-fo

The way things are goin’

I don’t know

Tell me why are we

So blind to see

That the ones we hurt

Are you and me

Been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

Been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

We keep spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

We keep spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

Power and the money

Money and the power

Minute after minute

Hour after hour

Everybody’s runnin’

But half of them ain’t lookin’

What’s goin’ on in the kitchen

But I don’t know what’s cookin’

Whey say I got ta learn

But nobody’s here to teach me

If they can’t understand it

How can they reach me

I guess they can’t

I guess they won’t

I guess they front

That’s why I know

My life is outta luck fool

Been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

Been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

We keep spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

We keep spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in the gangsta’s paradise

Tell me why are we

So blind to see

That the ones we hurt

Are you and me

Tell me why are we

So blind to see

That the ones we hurt

Are you and me

Link: [Weird Al Yankovic]

Amish Paradise

Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley

Where I harvest my grain

I take a look at my wife

And realize she’s very plain

But that’s just perfect

For an Amish like me

You know I shun

Fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin’

I’m milkin’ cows

Jedediah feeds the chickens

And Jacob plows fool

And I’ve been milkin’

And plowin’ so long that

Even Ezekiel thinks

That my mind is gone

I’m a man of the land

I’m into discipline

Got a Bible in my hand

And a beard on my chin

But if I finish all of my chores

And you finish thine

Then tonight we’re gonna party

Like it’s 1699

We’ve been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

I’ve churned butter once or twice

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

It’s hard work and sacrifice

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

We sell quilts at discount price

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me

In the butt last week

I just smiled at him

And I turned the other cheek

I really don’t care

In fact I wish him well

‘Cause I’ll be laughin’ my head off

When he’s burnin’ in Hell

But I ain’t never punched a tourist

Even if he deserved it

An Amish with a ‘tude

You know that’s unheard of

I never wear buttons

But I got a cool hat

And my homies agree

I really look good in black fool

If you come to visit

You’ll be bored to tears

We haven’t even paid the phone bill

In 300 years

But we ain’t really quaint

So please don’t point and stare

We’re just technologically impaired

There’s no phone

No lights

No motorcar

Not a single luxury

Like Robinson Crusoe

It’s as primitive as can be

We’ve been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

We’re just plain and simple guys

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

There’s no time for sin and vice

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

We don’t fight we all play nice

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin’ up the buggy

Churnin’ lots of butter

Raised the barn on Monday

Soon I’ll raise a’nudder

Think you’re really righteous

Think you’re pure in heart

Well I know I’m a million times

As humble as thou art

I’m the pious guy

The little Amlettes wanna be like

On my knees day and night

Scorin’ points for the afterlife

So don’t be vain

And don’t be whiney

Or else my brother

I might have to get medieval on your hiney

We’re been spendin’ most our lives

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

We’re all crazy Mennonites

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

There’s no cops or traffic lights

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

But you’d probably think it bites

Livin’ in an Amish paradise

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Yech

Lyrics From: [eLyrics.net]

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