Friday, August 31, 2007

Q & A: Chapter II

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“What about yourself?”

“What about me?”

“Can you honestly say that you are not the least bit curious about what I have been given to say about anything?”

“I don’t know. I've got a bad feeling about this.”

“Be assured that your feelings are quite natural; and not at all unfounded. For there is much about what I have been given to say that will taste rather bitter unto most; but after some time for digestion: it will become ever more sweet unto those who are willing to accept what they have been allowed and enabled to.”

Hmm, just the opposite of what the Apostle John experienced.”

“As well as the Prophet Ezekiel; and in all honesty: the same can be said of myself. For in the beginning it all seemed oh so very sweet. For what I was receiving provided answers for a great many questions; but after I came to realize that the hardness of far too many hearts really were exceedingly great: bitterness soured my enthusiasm.”

“Oh yeah, I feel a lot better about it now.”

“Be assured that my stomach has settled quite a bit.”

“Why do you keep saying: be assured?”

“If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid. There is another who testifies in my favor, and I know that his testimony about me is valid. This applies unto everything that I have been given to say about anything. For it is truly of Him; and not of myself: be assured.”

“Oh man, this just keeps getting better and better.”


“Okay, I must admit that I am rather curious. Probably in the same way as being curious about seeing people jump from the tenth story of a burning building. That always makes me feel real good about myself; but I’ll go ahead and bite.”

"Where would you like to start?”

“Let’s start with the meaning of life.”

“In order to put the meaning of life in its proper context: it would be helpful to think of it in terms of value. For even the most apparently worthless of lives in the eyes of this world is of great value in the eyes of our Creator. For all of us were, and will be, created to be His children by faith in order to give Himself opportunities to receive love that is freely given.”

“Certainly seems simple enough.”

“Too simple for far too many.”

“Define: all of us.”

“All of mankind.”

“Each and every one of us?”

“Each and every one of us.”

“And what’s with the: were and will be?”

“The were pertains unto those who have already came into existence: both in the past and in the present; and the will be pertains unto those who are yet to come: both in the present and in the future. For we are all personally created by our Heavenly Father to be His children by faith.”

“How far into the future?”

“At least until the end of this world.”

“Nothing personal: right?”

“Oh no, it is very personal. For it truly is as it is written: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

“I suppose it all depends upon which side of the tracks you come from.”

“Yes, considering what a mess this world has almost always been in: it does seem much more likely that most, if not, all of us were created to be the objects of our Heavenly Father’s wrath, certainly not His affections; and if what is of this world was all that there will ever be unto our lives: then there would be good reason to look elsewhere for someone, or something, to believe in. For even the most blessed of lives in this world is as nothing in comparison unto the least of lives in our Heavenly Father’s Kingdom of Heaven. Nonetheless: the point that keeps getting missed is that the end of our time as a part of this world is not the end of us. In fact: this world was never meant to last but for a little while in comparison unto the whole of eternity. Furthermore: our Heavenly Father will more than make-up for all of the terrible, terrible suffering of this world in the world that is yet to come. Therefore: should this not be what we look forward unto?”

“Not a very evolved way of thinking.”

“Yes, more and more have become rather comfortable with the idea of there possibly being a monkey or two hanging from their family tree; but I would think that most would want believe otherwise. For if some of our earliest ancestors really were amoebas swimming around in a pond full of primordial ooze: what more is there for us after our time as a part of this world comes unto an end?”

Couldn't we have it both ways?”

“No. For we were created as we are; and the same goes for everything else.”

“What about the fossil record?"

“What about it?”

“Doesn't it indicate an evolution of the species?”

“No. For what may appear to be an earlier ancestor of something is usually just another type; and in some cases: another species altogether.”

“So: you believe that the world was really created in six days then?”


“And all of the scientific data proving otherwise is what?”


“I suppose there is no way that we could have originated in a galaxy far, far way: is there?”


“How disappointing. I was really hoping to finally meet some of our distant cousins before too long.”

“Be assured that whatever our Heavenly Father may have done somewhere else has nothing to do with the plans that He has made for us.”

“Are you saying that there is life elsewhere?”

“No; but neither can I say that there is not what we naturally consider to be life anywhere else. For nothing has been revealed unto me about the subject except for what has been already said.”

“What would you say to those who believe that there cannot be life anywhere else because of Eve being the mother of all the living?”

“Yes, Adam and Eve are at the root of every family tree in this world; but does this extent unto the spiritual realm? Besides: if our Heavenly Father truly is the Creator of us all, would not Adam and Eve’s contribution be for appearances only?”

“Well, the door may be closed; but it appears to be left unlocked.”

“Just being honest.”

“Talking about being honest: aren't you being a tad disingenuous about making things sound so personal?”


“Come one now: I know that many would applaud the effort anyway; but the rest of us have come too far to embrace such an archaic belief.”

“I certainly hope not. For it truly is as it is written: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

“Oh yeah, that will score a lot of points with the scientific community.”

“Alas, it is indeed tragic that there is so much conflict with them. For what science is really all about is a pursuit of knowledge and understanding about what our Heavenly Father has done, and is doing.”

“Maybe it would be helpful if more were more realistic about us being a product of the natural order of things?”

“In what way am I failing to do so?”

“By insisting that the creative process is on-going.”

“Could this not be a part of the natural order of things?”


“How could it not be if our Heavenly Father is truly all-powerful? For who, or what, could exist if He did not want it to?”

“There is a big difference between Him just allowing someone, or something, to exist and Him specifically creating them to do so.”

“Yes, there is; and I would think that most would want to believe that they were specifically created to exist.”

“Whatever we may want to believe has nothing to do with the truth.”

“No, it most certainly does not. For the truth is what it absolutely is: regardless of whether we want to believe it or not; but then there is a matter of the reasons for why we may want to believe that something is true or false that needs to be addressed.”

"And I suppose that you would have us to believe that acts of God really are acts of God?”

“Yes. For there is no such thing as Mother Nature.”

“Well, in this case: biological science has taken all of the mystery out of the conception of human life.”

“Yes, it would appear that it is just the result of a chemical process; but appearances can be deceiving: be assured.”

“Maybe so; but I do know of at least one thing that we can all be sure of.”

“And what would that be?”

“That the scientific community is plumb religious about seeing is believing.”

“Blessed are those who can see what cannot be naturally seen.”

“Yes, blind faith would be required in the absence of empirical proof.”

“Not as much as what we have been so strongly encouraged to believe.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That the kind of faith that truly is of our Heavenly Father is not blind, nor is it deaf; but this is a discussion for another time.”

“You’re making this stuff up as you go along: aren't you?”

Truly you are a God who hides Himself, Oh God and Savior of Israel.”

“Where did that come from?”

“Our Heavenly Father.”

“But of course!”

“It was a quote of Isaiah 45:15 in the New International Version (NIV) of His Holy Bible.”

“Man, talk about mysterious ways. I wonder why He would do that?”

“In order to make it easier to recognize His voice.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“The reason why our Heavenly Father will often directly quote what He had written about Himself in His Holy Scriptures.”

“By quoting the New International Version?”

“Along with several other reputable versions: depending upon the personal familiarity of the individual at hand.”

“Many (if not: most) Protestants would argue that the King James 1611 Authorized Version (KJV) is the only reputable version of the Holy Bible; and then there are all of those Catholics, Orthodox and others who also have their Apocrypha.”

“Since even the earliest of the texts that were employed to compile all of the reputable versions of our Heavenly Father’s Holy Bible (including the King James 1611 Authorized Version) are probably copies of copies of copies of the original texts: how can anyone have any confidence in any of them without the witness of His Holy Spirit?”

“Well, all of that sounds very interesting; but I was actually wondering about why He would want to hide Himself?”

“In order to truly receive love that is freely given from us.”


“It is in order to truly receive love that is freely given from us that is the reason for why our Heavenly Father chose to hide Himself.”

“What about Him being too holy to be in the presence of sin?”

“Yes, it has been widely taught that it is because of sin entering into this world that our Heavenly Father had to leave; but there is really nothing unto it.”

“It must be lonely at the top.”

“What do you mean?”

“You being right; and everyone else being wrong.”

"No, it is not like that; but even if it was: it would not be the first time for such an occurrence. Take Noah for an example.”

“Hardly enough people to count.”

"Not that it should matter; but be assured that the same cannot be said of what happened with the Prophet Jeremiah.”

“Refresh my memory.”

Go up and down the streets of Jerusalem, look around and consider, search through her squares. If you can find but one person who deals honestly and seeks the truth, I will forgive this city. Although they say, ‘As surely as the Lord lives,’ still they are swearing falsely.” O Lord, do not your eyes look for truth? You struck them, but they felt no pain; you crushed them, but they refused correction. They made their faces harder than stone and refused to repent. I thought, “These are only the poor; they are foolish, for they do not know the way of the Lord, the requirements of their God. So I will go to the leaders and speak to them; surely they know the way of the Lord, the requirements of their God.” But with one accord they too had broken off the yoke and torn off the bonds.”

“Then what happened?”

“The land and the people were delivered into the hands of King Nebuchadrezzar of Babylon; and the city of Jerusalem was laid waste."

Hmm, not so different from Abraham and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.”

"Alas, is not the story of Jeremiah and Jerusalem even more compelling? For with the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah: the number went from fifty down to ten; and those cities were truly dens of iniquity. Whereas: with the city of Jerusalem the number was only one; and it was supposed to be a center of righteousness.”

“Okay, maybe there have been some situations when only one person was in the right while everyone else were in the wrong; but I still don’t see how you can say that there is really nothing to what has been so widely taught about God being too holy to be in the presence of sin!”

"How could there be? For if it is possible for Satan, the devil himself, to enter into our Heavenly Father’s presence (even while He is sitting upon His throne in His Kingdom of Heaven): how could it ever be impossible for any of us to enter into His very presence?”

“Maybe Heaven serves as some sort of neutral ground?”

“Come on now.”

“I assume that you are referring to the account recorded in the Book of Job of a couple of times when God called all of the angels to appear before Him and Satan was also in attendance?”

“I am.”

“Perhaps it had something to do with it being a special day?”

“I would think that any day in our Heavenly Father’s presence would be a special day.”

“Get back to me on that when Judgment Day rolls around.”

"All who are truly in Christ will not be judged.”

“Didn't your parents also teach you that no one really likes a know-it-all?”
“I seem to recall them saying something or another about the subject a few thousand times.”

“And yet you still insist upon presenting yourself as having an answer for everything.”

“Only unto the extent of the knowledge and understanding that I have been given.”

“And you say that the reason for why the Lord God Almighty hides Himself is in order to truly receive love that is freely given from us?”


“That doesn't make any sense to me.”

“Being as honest as you can possibly be: how do you think you would react unto seeing our Heavenly Father if He appeared before you in all of His most awesome glory?”


“As much as you can possibly be.”

“I would probably be scared stiff!”

“And after the initial shock wore off?”

“That would probably take awhile.”

“Stretch your imagination.”

“Quite awhile.”

“Try harder.”

“Okay, to tell you the truth: I can’t imagine doing anything, except for maybe planting my face in the dirt and hoping for the best.”

“Whereas: there would be others who would only want to bow down before our Heavenly Father for their own personal gain.”


“Anything that comes from fear or greed is really nothing to have and to hold.”

“Certainly a matter of opinion.”

“A good one: I trust.”

“Not everyone sees things as you do.”

“Now would be a good time to discuss the kind of faith that truly is of our Heavenly Father.”

“The kind that is not blind, nor deaf?”

“That would be the kind: be assured.”

“Surely you jest.”

“Not about this!”

“Oh, I've got to hear this.”

“For it truly is as it is written: Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a Faith as precious as ours: grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

“I’m not following you.”

“The absolute truth of the matter truly is that the kind of faith that truly comes from our Heavenly Father is based upon knowledge and understanding: not mere belief.”

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but everlasting life.

“And who can believe in Him without the help of His Holy Spirit?”

“So: believing is seeing after-all?”

“No, this is not to say that everything is always right out in the open. For if we can clearly see what we hope for: the need for hope is greatly diminished; and it is in this hope that we are saved from eternal damnation.”

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“What you said about hope.”

“That if we can clearly see what we hope for: the need for hope is greatly diminished?”

“No, the other thing that you said about hope.”

“That it is in this hope that we are saved from eternal damnation?”

“I thought it is supposed to be that we are saved by grace through faith?”

“It is; but that does not change anything. For the true definition of faith truly is as it is written: Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Furthermore: it is also by our Heavenly Father’s grace, through our having full and complete faith in Him, that keeps us safe and secure in His arms forever and ever. AMEN!!!”


“As it is with our marriage vows, and the way they are meant to be followed: so is it also with our relationship with our Heavenly Father.”

“Now: I am not one to necessarily agree with the doctrine of once saved/always saved; but when it comes to eternity: I don’t even want to think about the possibility of being involved in some sort of a divorce!”

“Without that: all that our Heavenly Father has subjected Himself (and us) unto in this world would be rather meaningless.”

“Hey, as long as I’m kept out of Hell, I couldn’t care less about what particular details may be involved.”

“Be assured that our Heavenly Father does. For He wants more than mere co-existence with us.”

“How much more can He want?”

“He wants our hearts, and our souls, and our minds.”

“But aren’t we created to be His children by faith?”


“And doesn’t the Bible say something or another about a son being a part of the family forever, which could be construed as saying that a child of His is His child forever?”

“Yes; and great will be our Heavenly Father’s joy when the time comes for Him to gather all of His children by faith unto Himself: be assured. Nonetheless: be also assured that there is a rest of the story unto this. For it would not fulfill His purposes to force anyone to spend all of eternity with Him in His Kingdom of Heaven as an heir unto all that is His in glory. Therefore: only those who want to truly be one of His children by faith will be welcome to do so.”

“Who in their right-mind wouldn’t?”

"I would think that no one in their right-mind would; but the gates must still be left open in order to maintain the integrity of the relationship between us and our Heavenly Father.”

"The integrity of the relationship?”

“One based upon love and affection: not upon an inherent right, nor some sort of a rite of passage.”

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Q & A: Chapter I



“Perhaps better for some than others?”


“Come on now. Surely this is a day that the Lord has made for us to rejoice and be glad in: especially after the kind of winter that we have just endured.”

“Yes, this is certainly a day that our Heavenly Father has made; and I really do appreciate it being such a beautiful one. More than most: be assured. For I have been afflicted with rather poor health for quite some time now…”


“There is more than just the weather to consider.”

“Yes, I suppose there is; and from what I’ve heard: you’ve had an awful lot on your mind.”


“Some have even gone as far as to say that you claim to know what the true meaning of life is.”

“Whoa, what all did they say?”

“That was about it.”

“Well, at least it is something.”

“You sound surprised.”

“To put it mildly.”

“What? Isn’t it true?”

“True enough.”

“So, what’s with all of the surprise?”

“That you have heard anything at all about what I have been given to say.”
“I don’t understand.”

“It has to do with feeling like I have been almost completely trapped in a vacuum.”

“A vacuum?”

“Yes, a vacuum. For it has been as if nothing had ever been said at all almost everytime I have tried to speak unto someone about some part of it.”

“In space: no one can hear you scream?”

“Something like that.”

“In other words: you haven’t received the kind of response that you feel like you deserve to.”

“It has nothing to do with being deserving.”

“But it has been very upsetting to you: right?”

“Much unto my own chagrin: I must admit that it has felt much more like a curse than the great blessing that I know that it is.”

“What credentials do you have to present?”

“None that would be recognizable in the eyes of this world as qualifying me to speak with any authority about anything truly meaningful.”

“Wow, that was some answer. Just how long have you have been working on it?”

“It has been with me for a while.”

“And yet you still expect to be heard.”

“The contents of the message are more than sufficient in, and of, themselves.”

“You must be an only child.”

“No, I have a younger brother.”

“And I bet you are still very resentful of losing the full attention of your parents after he came along.”

“Be assured that I would have greatly appreciated losing a lot more of their attention than I did at the time. For they were very strict; but my attitude towards them has been softened considerably since.”

“It’s not easy raising a problem child.”

“No, it is not; but they did as good of a job as they could.”

“Did they happen to mention something or another about it being better to not say anything at all whenever you feel like you can’t say anything nice?”

“They did.”

“Couldn’t that explain a lot?”

“A lot more than what most are willing to even consider (let alone: actually accept). For what could be nicer than trying to help someone find the error of their ways before it is too late?”

“Too late for what?”

“Eternal damnation.”

“You must’ve missed the lesson on what happens when you assume things.”

“The depths of the silence that surrounds me testifies loudly unto there being a great consensus of opinion.”

“Nothing like having a flair for the dramatic.”

“Matters of eternal spiritual life and eternal spiritual death are dramatic.”
“And with such an active imagination added to the mix: deeply disturbed hardly seems like an adequate diagnosis.”

“All the more of a reason for why what I have been given to say compels a response.”

“Everyone would be a lot better-off if they just focused all of their attention on taking care of their own business.”

“If depraved indifference can be accepted as being a criminal offense in the eyes of this world: how much more must it be an abomination in the eyes of our Heavenly Father?”

“It is written: Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.”

“Yes, that would be Proverbs 26:4 in the King James 1611 Authorized Version of our Heavenly Father’s Holy Bible (KJV); and the meaning certainly appears to be quite clear. That is: until you come unto the very next verse of that very same version. For it is also written: Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.

“What are you getting at?”

“That the passage is meant to encourage as many as will to want to deal with those who have been deceived with foolish ideas: just not on their lowered level.”

“Anyone can get the Bible to support their own agendas if they are willing to twist things out of context enough!”

“Yes, that is all too painfully true; but one would be hard-pressed to misuse the meaning of James 5:19-20. That is: at least not in regards unto its encouragement of our desires to be of help unto those in need. For it is written: Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.

“How can you be so sure that others believe that you are in error?”

“Well, if anything about what I have been given to say was considered to truly be of our Heavenly Father: would not anyone in their right-mind want to know and understand everything that they possibly could about it?”

“Do you have any idea just how many there are out there claiming to have special messages from God?”

“Far too many; but does this preclude anyone from actually having such a wonder?”

“For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.”

“What about the two witnesses who will come during the time of the antichrist?”

“What about them?”

“Will not what they are given to say truly be of our Heavenly Father?”

“Absolutely; but there will not be anything about it that will add anything to, nor take anything away from, what we have been already given in His Word!”

“Neither is there anything about what I have been given to say at this time that is meant to add anything unto, nor take anything away from, what we have been already given.”

“Maybe you’ve just not met the right people? Not everyone is equipped to handle such things: don’t you know?”

“Yes, not everything about what I have been given to say is meant for everybody at this time. In fact: it will not be until the time for the reign of the antichrist before it will be fully appreciated. Nonetheless: there is really no excuse for how much what I have been given to say has been ignored, albeit only in regards unto sincere offers of help. For it is meant for the more spiritually mature; and a lot of my attempted contacts have been with many of the most highly respected leaders of the American Christian community.”

“Such as?”

“Heads of different denominations and independent ministries.”

“But those are some very busy people!”


“Come on now: surely you can’t expect them to put all of the stuff that they are doing on hold just so they can minister to little ol’ you?”

“Whatever expectations I may have are irrelevant.”

“I suppose it is God who expects this of them then?”

“It is actually much more of a desire of His than any sort of expectation. For He already knows who will and who will not.”

“Okay, I stand corrected; but I am also still waiting on an answer.”

“Is this not what the parable of shepherd with the hundred sheep is all about? In all fairness, however: just a tempered relationship with one of their staff, or a trusted member of their congregation, would be plenty good enough at first.”

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

TCC {Part I} Offer

If you would like a copy of "The Crackerhead Chronicles {Part I}: please E-Mail me and I will send you a downloadable copy that will be somewhat different than one published on the blog. For it will include reference verses; and be set-up in book-form.

My new E-Mail address is:
In regards unto cost: I would like to receive a dollar ($1.00USD) as a donation; but if you cannot afford it, or just not willing to pay anything: no problem. For this was not done for the money.

P.S.: I will not be posting anything unto "AsTheCrackerheadCrumbles" for a little while. For I need to concentrate more of my attention upon "FishHawk Droppings"; but be assured that this blog is far from being over.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

TCC: The Fourteenth Crumb, Part II

Not to belabor the point. For I am quite sure that all who have been allowed and enabled to get it have been given enough information to do so already.

Nonetheless: I am compelled to add a few more songs unto the list before moving on. For Kansas' "Carry On My Wayward Son" replaced Molly Hatchet's "Flirtin' With Disaster" as my adopted theme song; and Kansas' "Point Of Know Return", "Dust In The Wind", and "Hold On" have also meant a great deal unto me.

Be assured that the same can be said of Simon & Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Waters", "The Boxer", "The Sound Of Silence", and "I Am A Rock". For they have also played significant roles in the emotional roller-coaster that has been my life in this world so far.

Perhaps it does sound rather pathetic: especially unto those who have been made very strong and powerful in the eyes of this world; but I will take all of the help that I can get. For I have spent most of my born-again life feeling more like a spiritual crash-test dummy than any sort of a conquering hero of the faith.

Yes, it has been widely taught that a faith that is grounded upon feelings is the same as a house that is built upon shifting sands. For it will surely fall to pieces when its base has eroded away enough; but when you have been brought in as close as I have: you will "know" (which goes way beyond mere faith) that what you "spiritually" feel is as solid as a rock.

No, it is not at all true that our Heavenly Father does not have feelings (emotions) like we do. For this is one of the things that being created in His image is all about.

It is, however, the same with our feelings as it is with everything else about the matter. For the image that we were all created in is but a poor reflection of our Heavenly Father's glory, which means that all of our own feelings are utterly corrupt in comparison unto His.

Speaking of utterly corrupt feelings: I was rapidly approaching hysterics around the first of March, 2004. For many of my most fervent prayers had been about being given a good wife to share the rest of my life with; and she was still nowhere to be seen.

Making it even worse on me was my mother. For she would not shut-up about me placing a personal ad in the Pennypower.

No, that was not an option to explore. For I was convinced that my Heavenly Father would use a personal ad to get me a wife; but like it was with His Bible before: I went ahead and placed such an ad just to appease my mother.

Be assured that it was nothing elaborate, nor even catchy. That is: at least not in the way that most would naturally think. For all it said was "For with God nothing shall be impossible".

Again: oh ye of little faith. For I refused to check for messages for the phone number assigned unto my ad because of not wanting to hear: "You have no messages".

After eight agonizing days: I finally gave the number a ring; and then I went into shock. For I had one message that had been left less than three hours after I first placed the ad.

Her name was Arlynda; and it was most definitely love at first sight. That is: at least for me it was. For it has taken her a little longer to come around; and depending upon what time of day it is: she might tell you that the jury is still out on the matter.

Thankfully: that was not a deal-breaker; and on the 15th day of April, 1994: we got married in a small ceremony in Eureka Springs, AR. For no blood tests were required.

No, pregnancy was not involved; but it was all so very sudden. For we got married less than three weeks after we first met; but the day held significance for Arlynda. For she had a "feeling" that I would make a good tax deduction.

Alas, talk about being part of His plan: I cannot imagine how it could not be. For there is absolutely no (naturally) good reason for why she should have wanted to marry me: especially not after what she had endured in her first marriage.

Moreover: there is absolutely no (naturally) good reason for why she should still be married unto me. For her "feeling" became a reality all too painfully soon.

She was allowed and enabled to join me out on the truck before I became so financially worthless unto her, however; and she really enjoyed herself. For she got to visit all of the continuous 48 states, except for: North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Washington and Vermont; and we made the walk at Niagara Falls into Ontario, Canada.

Oh yes, she was absolutely thrilled to see the falls and enter a foreign country for the first time; but that paled in comparison unto when she first got behind the wheel. For she was a "natural" at it; and only my deteriorating health keep her from getting a CDL of her own.

Much unto my dismay: I kept getting sicker and sicker; and that caused me to have to retire from the chicken-haulers union. For I could no longer keep-up with the pace required.

Thankfully: I "found" a very good company out of Springfield, MO that offered "turn-around" runs (loading around Springfield unto a certain area and then getting a reload right back unto Springfield); and it was on one of those runs unto Atlanta, GA that I first heard our Heavenly Father's "audible" voice. For it most definitely came from outside of myself; and He said: "Introduce Me".

No, there was not an accompanying clap of thunder; nor did He speak in a whisper. For it sounded like just a regular voice; but I have absolutely no doubts about it being from Him.

Be assured that it was most appreciated. For I had been becoming more and more aware of just how different what I had been given to say was in comparison unto what could be heard coming from most Christian pulpits around this world; and it made sense that my calling involved an introduction of our Heavenly Father and the righteousness of all of His most awesome ways unto a world so deeply steeped in the darkness of spiritual ignorance.

No, it has nothing to do with adding anything unto, nor taking anything away from, our Heavenly Father's Holy Scriptures. For what I have been given to say is already contained in the contents of His Holy Bible.

Nonetheless: it does have everything to do with something that has occurred many, many times before. For as it was with the children of Israel long ago: so has it also been with our Heavenly Father's children by faith even unto this very day. For they drift farther and farther away from the Truth; and then the time comes for Him to call them back. This is one of those times: be assured.

Yes, it may very well be that what I have been given to say really is just the ranting and raving of another self-anointed apostle of God. For somewhat similar claims have been made by many in the past; but if it so happens that it really is of our Heavenly Father: who from amongst us can afford to just ignore it???

Apparently: almost everyone; but this is not inconsistent with times past. For one of the most obvious signs of a falling-away is the having of much pride and arrogance; and these things do not allow for any questioning of what is being taught and accepted.

Alas, there are never enough Bereans around when they could do the most good; but if it is accepted that our Heavenly Father truly is in full control of all that happens: it has to be also accepted that even their absence is all part of the plan that He set into motion long before there were any Bereans to be around anywhere. For one cannot be without the other.

No, it has not been easy for me. In fact: there have been times when I have told Him that I never signed-up for such grief, and that He could take His message and shove it.

Thankfully: my Heavenly Father has been much more faithful unto me than I have been unto Him. For every time I have been serious about quitting: He has gone way above and beyond what we would naturally consider as being the call of duty to make it all the more clear that I have not been suffering in vain.

No, He has not brought me up into His Kingdom of Heaven to see what He wanted me to see like He did for the Apostle Paul and the Apostle John; but my Heavenly Father has shown me stuff in dreams that were vivid enough to be considered as visions, which is actually nothing new for me. After all: where do you think that "dream" about what happened unto that Tyson Foods truck-driver in the Wolf Pen Gap area came from???

Anyway: one of the more significant of my more recent dreams was about me finding my mother's new glasses in her house after she had gone to town. Now, since I knew that she could not see very well with her old glasses: I decided to bring them unto her; but all I found was her pick-up truck. Much unto my surprise: a girl whom I had gone to high school with walked-up unto me; and when I saw what she was holding in her right hand: my surprise quickly turned into fear. For she was holding my mother's old pair of glasses, which were left on the counter of her florist shop; and that meant that my mother was blindly wandering around somewhere. My fears were unfounded, however. For my mother then walked-up unto where we were standing just like she could actually see where she was going.

The moral of the story? Not all of the spiritually blind will get lost along the way.

More importantly unto me: the "dream" was meant to end my worries about my mother's spiritual welfare. For the more she could not see the point that I had been given to make: the more concerned I became about where she would spend eternity.

Yes, like was said before: what I have been given to say is not meant for everyone at this time. In fact: not even my wife fully comprehends the magnitude of the message; nor does Blane, who has been given a great hunger for it for over 10 years now.

Nonetheless: I know that they will someday. For this has been personally revealed unto me while wondering about it. Hence: what it truly means to be constantly in prayer.

No, it does not have anything to do with staying on our knees for hours at a time. For the premise is based upon being acutely aware of our Heavenly Father's omnipresence (always present) on the inside and the outside of ourselves.

Yes, I may very well be certifiable; but I do have references. For just the other day I was shown where an aspirin had went immediately after asking where it was.

Unfortunately: not all of my prayers have been answered so satisfactorly. For when Arlynda and I were wed: I stood at least 6 feet tall; and I weighed around 210 pounds. 13 years and 128 days later: I now stand 5 feet 9 1/2 inches tall; and I weight close to 400 pounds.

Please, do not think that my morbid obesity is the result of eating everything in sight. For my wife eats 4-5 times more than I do each and every day.

Yes, I have been unto a doctor about my condition. In fact: I am currently the patient of 3 different doctors; and I have lost track of how many others I have went to in the past 14 years.

Not that it really matters. For I know that my ailments are of a spiritual nature.

In other words: there is really nothing that they can do for me until they are allowed and enabled to; but I have often wondered if that also applies unto their generally great lack of concern over just how much my health has deteriorated. For I have went from being able to dead-lift 610 pounds unto not having the strength to walk even 20 feet much of the time.

No, I have not been able to work for several years; and this is a burden that weighs heavily upon me. For it is so unfair unto my darling wife; but I still keep hoping for the best.


Saturday, August 18, 2007

TCC: The Fourteenth Crumb, Part I

Speaking of different roads: mine led unto familiar territory. For in the summer of 1993: it was time to get back in the saddle again.

Oh yes, it was all too painfully familiar. For my health had not been restored; and I was as lonely as ever.

No, my "friends" had not abandoned me. If anything: their images were even more pronounced; but they no longer held such an appeal unto me.

Yes, former generations would wonder what I expected. For they were led to believe that when you made your bed: you had to lay in it.

Not me. That is: at least not then. For I was under the impression that when it was "out with the old, in with the new" that everything was made better than new about a person.

Oh ye of little faith. For I wondered if I had been woefully deceived about that.

Yes, as a matter of fact: I did believe that I had good reason to. For the road became harder and harder for me to negotiate with each passing day.

Thankfully: I was surrounded by friends at my company. For they recognized how sick I was becoming; and they took me off of long-haul to work more locally.

Well, at least I wanted to believe that I was amongst friends. For the second "localized" load that I had to deliver went to Toronto, Ontario, Canada; and most of the rest were shuttle loads of Tyson Chicken Products between Russellville, AR (around 60 miles northwest of Little Rock) and Atlanta, GA, Center, TX (around 90 miles southwest of Shreveport, LA) and Rogers, AR (around 40 miles southwest of Cassville), and many points in between just as fast as my truck would go.

There was one of those loads that I was glad to be on. For it was at the cold storage on the southwest side of Atlanta where I met a true child of our Heavenly Father.

No, I cannot remember his name; but I hope to always remember what a witness he was unto me. For when I asked him to join me at the "Blue Spot" (a generally all-black strip club next to the Petro Truckstop on the west side of Atlanta) all he said was: "Since becoming a Christian, I no longer want to go to places like that".

Oh yes, it stung to hear that; but that was not enough to keep me out of the place later on. If I remember right: the bouncers called me "Spot".

No, it was not that I had backslidden that far. For the focal point of my fears was that the great desire to do such things had never left me; and I was just not strong enough to withstand the pressure. Hence: a description of a true "crackerhead".

Yet: I still wanted to believe in what I had experienced before; and then there came a day when I actually heard what I had been told on more occasions than I would like to remember. For what is truly meant by "the truth will set you free" is that all who are truly in Christ will not be judged.

In other words: all who are truly in Christ are not always set free from sinning. For it all depends upon what our Heavenly Father wants to accomplish in and through each individual; but all who are truly in Christ can be certain of being set free from the "penalty" of sin. For He Himself has already paid the price in full for "ALL" of the sins of this world.

Oh yes, that will get me added unto the hit lists of many ministries: especially amongst the more devoutly religious ones; but the proof of what I have been given to say about this can be seen every time they take a sincere look at themselves. For who from amongst us can honestly say that they are completely without sin: even after accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior??? After all: is it not true that all wrong-doing is not doing things just exactly like our Heavenly Father would (both in spirit and practice); and that all wrong-doing is sin???

No, this is not meant to encourage wrong-doing. How could it? For who in their right-mind would want to purposely do what could be most harmful unto themselves and others?

Yes, there is more unto the wages of sin than just eternal spiritual death. For the ramifications of wrong-doing can be quite far-reaching in this world. Just ask the friends and family of an addict.

No, it is not at all true that someone can only hurt themselves: not even when they have no friends or family, nor have had any negative impact upon society in general. For what hurts even the least of us hurts our Heavenly Father even more.

So: why does He not put a stop unto all of the hurting? Well, it has to do with accomplishing His purposes. For the harder He makes it to truly love Him: the more satisfying the kind of love that He can receive from us becomes.

No, it has nothing to do with the testing of our faith. That is: at least not in the way that far too many have been led to believe. For how is it possible to prove anything unto the One who has known everything that there will ever be to know about everyone since before He laid the foundation of this world?

Nonetheless: it does have everything to do with the testing of "HIS" faithfulness. For our Heavenly Father promises to not place anymore upon anyone than what they can bear.

Be assured that I have had a problem with that on a number of occasions. For I would insist that I was not as strong as what He considered me to be.

Yes, it is enough to make a person cringe; but instead of getting a bucketful of brimstone dumped upon my head for my insolence: a hug was usually waiting for me after my hissy-fit was over. Hence: what it truly means to be in the "fear of the Lord".

No, it has nothing to do with actually being afraid of our Heavenly Father. For it is possible to love someone you are afraid of; but that is not the kind of love that He wants to receive.

Yes, I suppose it could be different for others; but for me: truly being in the fear of the Lord has involved having a very strong sense of our Heavenly Father's presence. So strong, in fact: that it has made me shake as if sorely afraid.

No, this is not to say that we have absolutely nothing to fear from our Heavenly Father. For it is possible to provoke Him to anger; and this can result in bringing more hardships down upon ourselves that what are absolutely necessary to accomplish His purposes.

Alas, such is the essence of faith. For it is made very hard to give Him the benefit of our doubts at times; but since the kind of faith that truly is of our Heavenly Father is not blind, nor deaf: is it not ultimately made even harder to disbelieve?

No, I am not talking in riddles. For He Himself declares that no one will be able to honestly say that they did not understand everything that He wanted them to, come Judgment Day. For our Heavenly Father reveals Himself in various ways unto even those who do not want to find Him.

Nonetheless: let it be widely known and clearly understood that not all that can be "spiritually" heard is of our Heavenly Father. For Satan and his horde of rogue angels are also allowed and enabled to whisper sweet nothings into our ears at times.

Case-in-point: what I experienced one night on a particularly dark and spooky road around 50 miles due west of Green Bay, WI. For in the hope of getting out of the deep, dark pit of despair I had fallen into (AGAIN!!!): "I" kept reminding myself of the fact that "MY" Heavenly Father would not have stopped me from blowing my brains out with my trusty Remington 870 Wingmaster 12 Gauge shotgun if He had not of wanted to really have all that much to do with me. I then heard a voice (as clear as a bell) that said that it was not the Lord God Almighty who stopped me from doing myself in. It went on to say that He only hears the prayers of the righteous that are directed unto Him; and that I was now his to do with as he liked.

Talk about being terrified: that I was; but then I was reminded of some of the things that "MY" Heavenly Father actually says is absolutely true. Hence: the importance of becoming as familiar with His Holy Scriptures as possible. For the devil and his demons can make right seem wrong without breaking a sweat.

Yes, it can be said that our Heavenly Father moves in mysterious ways. For His ways truly are much higher than our own.

No, this is not to deny that we are all created in His image. For this is indeed true; but the more clearly we are allowed and enabled to "see" our Heavenly Father: the easier it will become to also see that the image we are created in is but a poor reflection of His glory.

Alas, is it not no wonder that there is so much confusion about our Heavenly Father and the righteousness of all of His most awesome ways? For far too many are under the impression that He is not so unlike how we are.

Anyway: I did make it to the Kraft Foods Plant in Green Bay relatively unscathed; but I was still stuck in that pit of despair. Hence: another opportunity for my Heavenly Father to prove Himself unto me.

Much unto my amazement: He even started speaking unto me through the lyrics of songs!!! For certain passages would jump out of the speakers and dive deep into my soul.

No, I am not talking about just Christian music. For Def Leppard's "Bringing On The Heartbreak", "Too Late For Love", and "Paper Son" hit particularly hard. As did: Collective Soul's "Shine", Go Go Dolls' "Iris" and "Name", Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind", Chicago's "Feelin' Stronger Every Day" and "Hard To Say I'm Sorry", Ten Years After's "I'd Love To Change The World", Styx's "Foolin' Yourself" and "Grand Illusion", REO Speedwagon's "Ridin' The Storm Out", Triumph's "Hold On", "Fight The Good Fight", and "Lay It On The Line", Ozzy Osbourne's "Road To Nowhere", "Mr. Crowley", and "See You On The Other Side".

Oh yeah, there were many, many others; and not all of them came from the "classic rock" side of the musical scene. For Johnny Cash's "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down" hit harder than ever; and Christian rock groups like WhiteHeart, DC Talk, The News Boys, Guardian, Petra, and X-Sinner rocked my socks off!!!

Moreover: it did not even require listening unto what was coming out of the speakers. For He would sometimes wake me up with a song buzzing around in my head; and that continues unto this very day. I have been especially excited about hearing: "This is the day your life will surely change" (The The's "This Is The Day") for the last couple of weeks.

Yes, it could be argued that it is just another example of having a song stuck in your head: especially when it has been in heavy rotation on the TV (M&M's commercial) for some time now; but I have not been watching all that much television lately (too busy writing down "stuff" like this). Besides: it should make one pause to wonder when a song that has not been heard in awhile is there to help bring in the day (such as: Rare Earth's "I Just Want To Celebrate").

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

TCC: The Thirteeneth Crumb, Part II

Little did I know at the time that by hoping for the best: I was hoping for more of the same; and possibly much worse. For the more His children by faith are subjected unto great suffering: the more our Heavenly Father is glorified. For it is relatively easy to love someone who always does what you want them to; but it takes a very special kind of love to stay with someone who does not.

Yes, many have been led to believe that our Heavenly Father wants all of His children by faith to be healthy, wealthy and wise: even while still being in this world; but it should not be hard to see that they have been woefully deceived. Just take a look at some of the experiences of the Apostle Paul.

No, this is not to say that one can always tell who is truly a Christian by the wretchedness of their life in this world. For it all depends upon what our Heavenly Father wants to accomplish in and through someone that determines what kind of a life they will have in this world.

Tak about being cruel: such are the doctrines of "Prosperity Theology" (a.k.a: name it, claim it). For they dictate that it is because of a great lack of faith that someone is sick or poor.

Alas, cannot the same be said for monastic life? For many have been lead to believe this is what is necessary in order to enter into the very presence of our Heavenly Father.

No, "hoping for the best" has nothing to do with self-flagellation, nor with the making of any vows. For only what is in accordance unto "our Heavenly Father's will" really counts.

Neither does it have anything to do with our Heavenly Father having a rather sadistic sense-of-humor. For the love that He has for us is more pure and greater than what we can even start to naturally comprehend.

Nonetheless: it does have everything to do with what is commonly referred unto as being: "the true meaning of life". For we (as in: all of mankind) were created to be our Heavenly Father's children by faith in order to give Himself opportunities to receive love that is freely given from us; and it is a very special kind of love that He most wants to receive: be assured.

Yes, considering what a mess this world has almost always be in: it does seem much more likely that most (if not: all) of us were created to be the objects of His wrath (certainly not His affections); and if our physical lives in this world was all that there will ever be unto us: it would be hard to argue with that. For no one is given a choice of whether or not they want to physically live the lives that they are meant to in this world.

Nonetheless: let it be widely known and clearly understood that the absolute truth of the matter truly is that our Heavenly Father is completely fair. For all who reach their own age of accountability before their time as a part of this world comes unto an end are given a choice of whether or not they want to spend all of eternity with Him in His Kingdom of Heaven as an heir unto all that is His in glory; and in regards unto those who do not reach their own age of accountability before their time as a part of this world comes unto an end: be assured that they will be given the same choice "AFTER" being welcomed into our Heavenly Father's Kingdom of Heaven as an heir unto all that is His in glory.

In fact: "ALL" who are welcomed into our Heavenly Father's Kingdom of Heaven are given the same choice. For it would not fulfill His purposes to force anyone to spend all of eternity with Him against their will.

Yes, I now have an answer for Darrell Greenstreet's question about why a loving God would allow a bus-load of innocent children to die if He could do anything about it. For the answer is: in order to give us another opportunity to truly give our Heavenly Father the benefit of our doubts so that He can receive some more love of a very special kind.

Is it worth the effort? Oh yes, be assured. For great will be the joy of our Heavenly Father when the time comes for Him to gather all of His children by faith unto Himself; and He promises that all of the pain and suffering of this world is as nothing in comparison unto the glory of our lives with Him in His Kingdom of Heaven forever and ever. AMEN!!!

No, not all of this was understood in the beginning. For that has taken years.

Nonetheless: do not be discouraged. For it may come a lot sooner for you.

Furthermore: you may receive even more! For it is absolutely true that the road that our Heavenly Father wants us to travel is a narrow one; but that is not to say that it is always the same one.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

TCC: The Thirteenth Crumb, Part I

Oh my, was I ever excited; and a little dizzy, as well. For it was not as bad for me as it was on Col. Jack O'Neil when an Ancients' data port latched a-hold of him; but it was quite overwhelming.

Yes, it would be a good time to clear-up a previous misstatement. For when I said that I got flooded with an enormous amount of knowledge and understanding of our Heavenly Father's absolute truth: I should have just left it at getting flooded with an enormous amount of knowledge. For there was very little of it that I truly understood at the time.

Oh no, I was not going to allow a few minor details get in the way of my mission. For I had a tale to tell; and I was bound and determined to shout it from the rooftops as much as possible.

I even had a plan! For I would attend different church's; and invite their leaders to engage in a discussion of what I had been told. For I did understand that what I had been given to say was mostly for the more spiritually mature.

The trouble was that most did not have ears to listen at the time; and amongst those who did: they did not want to hear it. For what I had been given to say contradicted many of the things that they had been indoctrinated to never question.
Talk about being confused: I did not understand why He would give me all that He had and not want me to say anything about it. After all: had He not called me to be His FishHawk?

Again: I was not going to allow a few minor details to get in the way. For "Stage II" of "my" plan involved going unto those who were close to me: both before and after my life of promise life fell apart.

My confusion then turned into despair. For the "good" people of Cassville did not want to have anything to do with me; and my old drinking buddies were not interested in such things.

On the other hand: there was my mother. For she was quite interested in what I had been given to say.

A lot of good that did. For it was like I was speaking a foreign language whenever I would try to explain something unto her.

Alas, what arguments we had. For I did not understand at the time that she had not been given ears to hear what I had been given to say.

Neither did I understand that is really was like I was speaking a foreign language unto her every time I tried to explain something. Hence: what "speaking in tongues" is truly about.

No, this is not to say that it never involves speaking in a language that is unknown in this world. For it was given unto the Apostle Paul to speak about speaking in tongues of men and angels.

Nonetheless: be not deceived about what is often said to be speaking in tongues. For when someone starts speaking what sounds like a bunch of gibberish during a praise and worship service (or anywhere else: for that matter): be assured that they really are speaking gibberish.

Oh yes, I have been made all too painfully aware of the fact that saying things like that will not get me invited unto many after-church chicken dinners in the Pentecostal community (not to mention: the Charismatic community). For it is quite natural of us to want to think more highly of ourselves than we should.

No, I do not delight in the consternation of others. In fact: I abhor it. For I have always had a problem with rejection. That is: at least when I am sober I do.

Yes, that was another gift that I received from God. For I would still drink a cold one or two on occasion; but I no longer had any desire to get drunk.

On second-thought: maybe it was not such a blessing after all? For it was like having a wagon-load of pure gold nuggets the size of person's head and everyone insisting that all I had was a wagon full of shiny rocks!!!

Then: a new plan of attack formulated in my head. For instead of boldly proclaiming that what I had been given to say truly was of God: I would go unto all with a request for help in understanding.

No, that was not an offer that could not be refused; but that was better than what usually happened. For at least I knew that they had heard me asking when they gave some lame excuse for not having the time to minister unto me. Whereas, in most cases: it was as if nothing had been said at all.

Was this some kind of a joke? For if it was: I was not laughing!

Again: terror gripped my heart. For thoughts of God turning me over unto Satan to start my eternal torment a little early kept swirling around in my head.

Nonetheless: I knew that He was still there; and that went far beyond being merely a matter of faith. For I could actually feel myself being in the very presence of the Lord; and there were even times when it felt like He was holding me on His lap.

Needless to say: all of this came as a great shock unto me. For I had been raised to believe in existence of the Holy Spirit; but nothing was ever taught about Him actually being an active participant in our daily lives.

No, I cannot really blame most for thinking that I have surely lost my mind. For very few have actually experienced such things themselves; but if you will listen for His still, small voice: our Heavenly Father stands as a witness unto the absolute truth of the matter truly being that what I have been given to say really is of Him.

Oh yes, He still speaks directly unto us; and not just unto those who are listening for Him, neither. After all: where do you think many (if not: most) of our thoughts come from?

A good example of this happened while I was reading about Him being angry at Moses for striking the rock twice with his staff after he was instructed to strike the rock only once in order for the water to start flowing. For if He could get so angry with Moses for doing something so minor: how could He ever not be angry with me? Then: an explanation of the absolute truth of the matter truly being that He only did so as a warning unto those who would take His grace for granted took center stage in my mind.

No, that was not good enough for me. For I felt like the punishment of Moses not being allowed to enter into the promised land did not fit the sin; and then came another explanation of the absolute truth of the matter truly being that the reason for having Moses physically die before the children of Israel reached the River Jordan was so He could make it clear unto them that He was just as much with Joshua as He was with Moses.

Much unto my amazement: I even "found" a Bible verse to back-up what what I had been told about Joshua and Moses. For it is written in Joshua 3:7 {KJV}: And the LORD said unto Joshua, This day will I begin to magnify thee in the sight of all Israel, that they may know that, as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee.

Hence: the true purpose of our Heavenly Father's Holy Bible. For it was given to serve as written confirmation of what He wants to personally reveal unto those who have been given ears to hear.

Oh my, what a can of worms to open. For many base their doctrines strictly on what is written in the Bible.

No, this not to suggest that what is now recognized as being our Heavenly Father's Holy Bible does not contain the sum-total of His Holy Scriptures. For it does indeed: be assured.

Neither is this to say that there is anything wrong with wanting to have faith in the absolute truth of the Bible; but how can anyone in this world truly understand anything about what is really being said through our Heavenly Father's Holy Scriptures without the "help" of His Holy Spirit? Therefore: should not all Christian doctrines be based upon the witness of our Heavenly Father's Holy Spirit instead of just being upon what is really nothing more than a book without Him?

In other words: let us not think about our Heavenly Father's Holy Bible as being a book of instruction. For the true "Word Of God" is the Lord Jesus Christ: not the book that He had written about Himself and the righteousness of all of His most awesome ways.

Yes, many would beg to differ. For they have been led to believe that God no longer speaks directly unto us; but how can this be? For if He truly is the same today as He always has been, and will be forevermore: why would He stop trying to have a very close and personal relationship with us all?

Alas, does it not stand to reason that many would not want to believe that any of this is indeed true? For after being recognized in the eyes of their peers as being an authority on the Bible for all of the years that were spent in arduous study: who would naturally want to concede that all they may have was not earned by the sweat of their brow, but given unto them as gift?

Yes, even in this: there is still room for as many as would to want to think more highly of themselves than they should. For the absolute truth of the matter truly is that the reason why the Bible should not be employed as a book of instruction in the same way as a school textbook upon science, mathematics, or even history normally would be is because of it truly being a book full of spiritual truths that only the "Spiritually-mined" can correctly discern.

Nonetheless: let it be widely known and clearly understood that all should run from such temptation. For it all depends upon what our Heavenly Father wants to accomplish in and through someone that determines when, and unto what extent, they are allowed and enabled to enter into the knowledge and understanding of His absolute truth.

Hence: what it truly means to be in one's "right-mind". For there is more unto even this world than what naturally comes to meet our physically eyes.

Yes, it can be argued that all who are allowed and enabled to truly be in their right-mind's really are special. For this is not something that happens unto everybody.

Nonetheless: since it is of our Heavenly Father: who in their right-mind would want to think of "themselves" as being special? Besides: being "special" is not all that it is naturally thought to be. For in more cases than not: our Heavenly Father's chosen servants are subjected unto a life full of great pain and suffering; but I can still hope for the best: can I not?

Monday, August 6, 2007

TCC: The Twelfth Crumb, Part II

Such were the thoughts swirling around in my head while I sat in a house without electricity, water, and phone service. For I wanted to believe that something was going-on; but I did not have a clue about what it might be.

Yes, I considered the possibility of it being the hand of God at work; but that was summarily dismissed. For it was primarily bad things that kept happening; and I had been raised to believe that He had nothing to do that.

No, I was not at concerned about my "backsliding" (a falling away from the faith). For I had been also raised-up to believe in: "once saved/always saved" (the Doctrine of Eternal Security), which meant that all who had publicly testified unto their acceptance of the Lord Jesus Christ as being their own personal Lord and Savior, and were baptized in water (fully immersed) for the cleansing of sin, would be accepted into Heaven no matter what direction their live's took afterward.

Then: I woke-up one morning; and everything had changed. For I no longer had any confidence in that position.

So: I offered my services unto the devil in exchange for making me rich, powerful, healthy, and irresistible unto very attractive women; but mostly in regards unto the irresistible part. For that was where my head was at the time.

Talk about being a really sick puppy: how could I have done such a thing for something so ultimately trivial? For who in their right-mind would want to trade eternal joy for temporary satisfaction?

Ah, but I had a plan. For I was thinking that maybe Hell would not be such a bad place if one had of made friends with Satan before entering his domain.

Besides: he was the only one left to turn to. For I was convinced that God no longer wanted to have anything to do with me.

Nonetheless: my mother was not convinced; and she was certainly unwilling to see me join the forces of the dark-side without a fight. Therefore: she gave me one of my old Bibles; and begged me to start reading it again.

Be assured that I resisted all urges to pick-up that Bible. For all I wanted to do is wait for an answer unto my prayer; and keep a watchful eye on what was appearing around me.

Yes, all of the familiar images were on display just about everywhere I looked; but there was also a new one that really caught my attention. For it was of a man dressed in beaded buckskins (like an American Indian in traditional clothes) holding a war-club (shaped like an elongated bird of prey) who appeared to be really standing in the room (not on the walls).

No, he did not move at all; but he did have a rather unnerving stare going-on. For it looked like he was staring into the very depths of my soul.

My vigil ended on the third day (coincidentally?). For I finally picked-up my old Bible just to get my mother to shut-up about it for maybe a little while; and it fell open unto the first chapter of Luke (New Testament).

"For with God nothing shall be impossible" {Luke 1:37 KJV} caught my attention; and then: the strangest thing happened. For it was like a light went on; and my heart became filled with hope. For if nothing is impossible with God: then nothing would be impossible for God; and if nothing is impossible for God: then it would be possible for Him to forgive even me!!!

Other than having a great desire to absorb as much of the Bible as I could: nothing seemed to change. That is: as in regards unto anything overtly noticeable. For a few days later: I discovered that foul language no longer came out of my mouth, nor entered into my thoughts.

Oh yes, that came as a great shock unto me. For I could not complete a sentence without adding some very colorful adverbs and adjectives (not to mention: all of the off-color stuff) before.

No, I was not trying to be cool. Well, maybe a little at first; but at the time of my cleansing: I did not care about what others might think. For that was just the way I talked.

Just as a side-note: a girl once told me that I could not be cool even after being left in a meat locker for 8 hours; and another one once told me that I was dumber than dirt. Now: I know that those things were meant as an insult; but the joke is still on them. For I have never understood what either one means.

Anyway: my euphoric feelings over my spiritual mouth-washing did not last long. For the sexually explicit images continued to appear.

In fact: they were more pronounced than ever. For eye lashes, fingernails, "body" hair and facial expressions were clearly visible unto me.

Thoughts about being beyond redemption filled my head; and terror gripped my heart. For I was under the impression that if the Lord really touched a person: they would be set free from a life of sin forever.

I desperately searched the Scriptures to find an answer; but none was found. Then: I had another thought about nothing being impossible for God; and that brought some peace.

It did not last long, however. For I could not take my eyes off of the sexually explicit images for more than a moment or two; and my "American Indian" friend would not take his eyes off of me.

I would repeat "God is in control" over and over again in my head. For that would give me some peace.

Sometimes I would even say it out-loud when no one was "visibly" around. For I could remember hearing somewhere that such things would keep the devil and his demons away.

Then: I was outside of my house one day; and a disturbing thought invaded the inner recesses of my mind. For it reasoned that if God really was in control: then He would have to be at least partially responsible for all of the "bad" things in my life.

Yes, most "Christians" would be confident of knowing just where that came from; but they would be deceived. For at the very moment I took that thought about God being in control of even the "bad" stuff: a light came on that drove me unto my knees.

No, it was not like what the Apostle Paul experienced while he was still a Pharisee by the name of Saul {Acts 9:1-9}. For I heard nary a sound from Heaven, nor from anywhere else.

Nonetheless: I do believe that it was a lot like what happened unto the Prophet Jeremiah {Jeremiah 1:4-10}. That is: apart from having a direct conversation with Him at the time. For I felt like I really was in the very presence of the Lord while being flooded with an enormous amount of His knowledge and understanding.

Oh yes, the images were still there; but I did find out a thing or two about my "American Indian" friend. For it was explained unto me that he represented the Lord Jesus Christ holding me in His hand.

Hence: a revelation of my "calling". For the war-club in his hand was a "FishHawk".

A FishHawk? Well, it has to do with being an aggressive fisher of men (and women). For a hawk goes forth in search of their "prey"; but this is not to say that I was called to follow in the footsteps of far too many before me.