TCC: The Thirteenth Crumb, Part I

Oh my, was I ever excited; and a little dizzy, as well. For it was not as bad for me as it was on Col. Jack O'Neil when an Ancients' data port latched a-hold of him; but it was quite overwhelming.

Yes, it would be a good time to clear-up a previous misstatement. For when I said that I got flooded with an enormous amount of knowledge and understanding of our Heavenly Father's absolute truth: I should have just left it at getting flooded with an enormous amount of knowledge. For there was very little of it that I truly understood at the time.

Oh no, I was not going to allow a few minor details get in the way of my mission. For I had a tale to tell; and I was bound and determined to shout it from the rooftops as much as possible.

I even had a plan! For I would attend different church's; and invite their leaders to engage in a discussion of what I had been told. For I did understand that what I had been given to say was mostly for the more spiritually mature.

The trouble was that most did not have ears to listen at the time; and amongst those who did: they did not want to hear it. For what I had been given to say contradicted many of the things that they had been indoctrinated to never question.
Talk about being confused: I did not understand why He would give me all that He had and not want me to say anything about it. After all: had He not called me to be His FishHawk?

Again: I was not going to allow a few minor details to get in the way. For "Stage II" of "my" plan involved going unto those who were close to me: both before and after my life of promise life fell apart.

My confusion then turned into despair. For the "good" people of Cassville did not want to have anything to do with me; and my old drinking buddies were not interested in such things.

On the other hand: there was my mother. For she was quite interested in what I had been given to say.

A lot of good that did. For it was like I was speaking a foreign language whenever I would try to explain something unto her.

Alas, what arguments we had. For I did not understand at the time that she had not been given ears to hear what I had been given to say.

Neither did I understand that is really was like I was speaking a foreign language unto her every time I tried to explain something. Hence: what "speaking in tongues" is truly about.

No, this is not to say that it never involves speaking in a language that is unknown in this world. For it was given unto the Apostle Paul to speak about speaking in tongues of men and angels.

Nonetheless: be not deceived about what is often said to be speaking in tongues. For when someone starts speaking what sounds like a bunch of gibberish during a praise and worship service (or anywhere else: for that matter): be assured that they really are speaking gibberish.

Oh yes, I have been made all too painfully aware of the fact that saying things like that will not get me invited unto many after-church chicken dinners in the Pentecostal community (not to mention: the Charismatic community). For it is quite natural of us to want to think more highly of ourselves than we should.

No, I do not delight in the consternation of others. In fact: I abhor it. For I have always had a problem with rejection. That is: at least when I am sober I do.

Yes, that was another gift that I received from God. For I would still drink a cold one or two on occasion; but I no longer had any desire to get drunk.

On second-thought: maybe it was not such a blessing after all? For it was like having a wagon-load of pure gold nuggets the size of person's head and everyone insisting that all I had was a wagon full of shiny rocks!!!

Then: a new plan of attack formulated in my head. For instead of boldly proclaiming that what I had been given to say truly was of God: I would go unto all with a request for help in understanding.

No, that was not an offer that could not be refused; but that was better than what usually happened. For at least I knew that they had heard me asking when they gave some lame excuse for not having the time to minister unto me. Whereas, in most cases: it was as if nothing had been said at all.

Was this some kind of a joke? For if it was: I was not laughing!

Again: terror gripped my heart. For thoughts of God turning me over unto Satan to start my eternal torment a little early kept swirling around in my head.

Nonetheless: I knew that He was still there; and that went far beyond being merely a matter of faith. For I could actually feel myself being in the very presence of the Lord; and there were even times when it felt like He was holding me on His lap.

Needless to say: all of this came as a great shock unto me. For I had been raised to believe in existence of the Holy Spirit; but nothing was ever taught about Him actually being an active participant in our daily lives.

No, I cannot really blame most for thinking that I have surely lost my mind. For very few have actually experienced such things themselves; but if you will listen for His still, small voice: our Heavenly Father stands as a witness unto the absolute truth of the matter truly being that what I have been given to say really is of Him.

Oh yes, He still speaks directly unto us; and not just unto those who are listening for Him, neither. After all: where do you think many (if not: most) of our thoughts come from?

A good example of this happened while I was reading about Him being angry at Moses for striking the rock twice with his staff after he was instructed to strike the rock only once in order for the water to start flowing. For if He could get so angry with Moses for doing something so minor: how could He ever not be angry with me? Then: an explanation of the absolute truth of the matter truly being that He only did so as a warning unto those who would take His grace for granted took center stage in my mind.

No, that was not good enough for me. For I felt like the punishment of Moses not being allowed to enter into the promised land did not fit the sin; and then came another explanation of the absolute truth of the matter truly being that the reason for having Moses physically die before the children of Israel reached the River Jordan was so He could make it clear unto them that He was just as much with Joshua as He was with Moses.

Much unto my amazement: I even "found" a Bible verse to back-up what what I had been told about Joshua and Moses. For it is written in Joshua 3:7 {KJV}: And the LORD said unto Joshua, This day will I begin to magnify thee in the sight of all Israel, that they may know that, as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee.

Hence: the true purpose of our Heavenly Father's Holy Bible. For it was given to serve as written confirmation of what He wants to personally reveal unto those who have been given ears to hear.

Oh my, what a can of worms to open. For many base their doctrines strictly on what is written in the Bible.

No, this not to suggest that what is now recognized as being our Heavenly Father's Holy Bible does not contain the sum-total of His Holy Scriptures. For it does indeed: be assured.

Neither is this to say that there is anything wrong with wanting to have faith in the absolute truth of the Bible; but how can anyone in this world truly understand anything about what is really being said through our Heavenly Father's Holy Scriptures without the "help" of His Holy Spirit? Therefore: should not all Christian doctrines be based upon the witness of our Heavenly Father's Holy Spirit instead of just being upon what is really nothing more than a book without Him?

In other words: let us not think about our Heavenly Father's Holy Bible as being a book of instruction. For the true "Word Of God" is the Lord Jesus Christ: not the book that He had written about Himself and the righteousness of all of His most awesome ways.

Yes, many would beg to differ. For they have been led to believe that God no longer speaks directly unto us; but how can this be? For if He truly is the same today as He always has been, and will be forevermore: why would He stop trying to have a very close and personal relationship with us all?

Alas, does it not stand to reason that many would not want to believe that any of this is indeed true? For after being recognized in the eyes of their peers as being an authority on the Bible for all of the years that were spent in arduous study: who would naturally want to concede that all they may have was not earned by the sweat of their brow, but given unto them as gift?

Yes, even in this: there is still room for as many as would to want to think more highly of themselves than they should. For the absolute truth of the matter truly is that the reason why the Bible should not be employed as a book of instruction in the same way as a school textbook upon science, mathematics, or even history normally would be is because of it truly being a book full of spiritual truths that only the "Spiritually-mined" can correctly discern.

Nonetheless: let it be widely known and clearly understood that all should run from such temptation. For it all depends upon what our Heavenly Father wants to accomplish in and through someone that determines when, and unto what extent, they are allowed and enabled to enter into the knowledge and understanding of His absolute truth.

Hence: what it truly means to be in one's "right-mind". For there is more unto even this world than what naturally comes to meet our physically eyes.

Yes, it can be argued that all who are allowed and enabled to truly be in their right-mind's really are special. For this is not something that happens unto everybody.

Nonetheless: since it is of our Heavenly Father: who in their right-mind would want to think of "themselves" as being special? Besides: being "special" is not all that it is naturally thought to be. For in more cases than not: our Heavenly Father's chosen servants are subjected unto a life full of great pain and suffering; but I can still hope for the best: can I not?