Nonetheless: I am compelled to add a few more songs unto the list before moving on. For Kansas' "Carry On My Wayward Son" replaced Molly Hatchet's "Flirtin' With Disaster" as my adopted theme song; and Kansas' "Point Of Know Return", "Dust In The Wind", and "Hold On" have also meant a great deal unto me.
Be assured that the same can be said of Simon & Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Waters", "The Boxer", "The Sound Of Silence", and "I Am A Rock". For they have also played significant roles in the emotional roller-coaster that has been my life in this world so far.
Perhaps it does sound rather pathetic: especially unto those who have been made very strong and powerful in the eyes of this world; but I will take all of the help that I can get. For I have spent most of my born-again life feeling more like a spiritual crash-test dummy than any sort of a conquering hero of the faith.
Yes, it has been widely taught that a faith that is grounded upon feelings is the same as a house that is built upon shifting sands. For it will surely fall to pieces when its base has eroded away enough; but when you have been brought in as close as I have: you will "know" (which goes way beyond mere faith) that what you "spiritually" feel is as solid as a rock.
No, it is not at all true that our Heavenly Father does not have feelings (emotions) like we do. For this is one of the things that being created in His image is all about.
It is, however, the same with our feelings as it is with everything else about the matter. For the image that we were all created in is but a poor reflection of our Heavenly Father's glory, which means that all of our own feelings are utterly corrupt in comparison unto His.
Speaking of utterly corrupt feelings: I was rapidly approaching hysterics around the first of March, 2004. For many of my most fervent prayers had been about being given a good wife to share the rest of my life with; and she was still nowhere to be seen.
Making it even worse on me was my mother. For she would not shut-up about me placing a personal ad in the Pennypower.
No, that was not an option to explore. For I was convinced that my Heavenly Father would use a personal ad to get me a wife; but like it was with His Bible before: I went ahead and placed such an ad just to appease my mother.
Be assured that it was nothing elaborate, nor even catchy. That is: at least not in the way that most would naturally think. For all it said was "For with God nothing shall be impossible".
Again: oh ye of little faith. For I refused to check for messages for the phone number assigned unto my ad because of not wanting to hear: "You have no messages".
After eight agonizing days: I finally gave the number a ring; and then I went into shock. For I had one message that had been left less than three hours after I first placed the ad.
Her name was Arlynda; and it was most definitely love at first sight. That is: at least for me it was. For it has taken her a little longer to come around; and depending upon what time of day it is: she might tell you that the jury is still out on the matter.
Thankfully: that was not a deal-breaker; and on the 15th day of April, 1994: we got married in a small ceremony in Eureka Springs, AR. For no blood tests were required.
No, pregnancy was not involved; but it was all so very sudden. For we got married less than three weeks after we first met; but the day held significance for Arlynda. For she had a "feeling" that I would make a good tax deduction.
Alas, talk about being part of His plan: I cannot imagine how it could not be. For there is absolutely no (naturally) good reason for why she should have wanted to marry me: especially not after what she had endured in her first marriage.
Moreover: there is absolutely no (naturally) good reason for why she should still be married unto me. For her "feeling" became a reality all too painfully soon.
She was allowed and enabled to join me out on the truck before I became so financially worthless unto her, however; and she really enjoyed herself. For she got to visit all of the continuous 48 states, except for: North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Washington and Vermont; and we made the walk at Niagara Falls into Ontario, Canada.
Oh yes, she was absolutely thrilled to see the falls and enter a foreign country for the first time; but that paled in comparison unto when she first got behind the wheel. For she was a "natural" at it; and only my deteriorating health keep her from getting a CDL of her own.
Much unto my dismay: I kept getting sicker and sicker; and that caused me to have to retire from the chicken-haulers union. For I could no longer keep-up with the pace required.
Thankfully: I "found" a very good company out of Springfield, MO that offered "turn-around" runs (loading around Springfield unto a certain area and then getting a reload right back unto Springfield); and it was on one of those runs unto Atlanta, GA that I first heard our Heavenly Father's "audible" voice. For it most definitely came from outside of myself; and He said: "Introduce Me".
No, there was not an accompanying clap of thunder; nor did He speak in a whisper. For it sounded like just a regular voice; but I have absolutely no doubts about it being from Him.
Be assured that it was most appreciated. For I had been becoming more and more aware of just how different what I had been given to say was in comparison unto what could be heard coming from most Christian pulpits around this world; and it made sense that my calling involved an introduction of our Heavenly Father and the righteousness of all of His most awesome ways unto a world so deeply steeped in the darkness of spiritual ignorance.
No, it has nothing to do with adding anything unto, nor taking anything away from, our Heavenly Father's Holy Scriptures. For what I have been given to say is already contained in the contents of His Holy Bible.
Nonetheless: it does have everything to do with something that has occurred many, many times before. For as it was with the children of Israel long ago: so has it also been with our Heavenly Father's children by faith even unto this very day. For they drift farther and farther away from the Truth; and then the time comes for Him to call them back. This is one of those times: be assured.Yes, it may very well be that what I have been given to say really is just the ranting and raving of another self-anointed apostle of God. For somewhat similar claims have been made by many in the past; but if it so happens that it really is of our Heavenly Father: who from amongst us can afford to just ignore it???
Apparently: almost everyone; but this is not inconsistent with times past. For one of the most obvious signs of a falling-away is the having of much pride and arrogance; and these things do not allow for any questioning of what is being taught and accepted.
Alas, there are never enough Bereans around when they could do the most good; but if it is accepted that our Heavenly Father truly is in full control of all that happens: it has to be also accepted that even their absence is all part of the plan that He set into motion long before there were any Bereans to be around anywhere. For one cannot be without the other.
No, it has not been easy for me. In fact: there have been times when I have told Him that I never signed-up for such grief, and that He could take His message and shove it.
Thankfully: my Heavenly Father has been much more faithful unto me than I have been unto Him. For every time I have been serious about quitting: He has gone way above and beyond what we would naturally consider as being the call of duty to make it all the more clear that I have not been suffering in vain.
No, He has not brought me up into His Kingdom of Heaven to see what He wanted me to see like He did for the Apostle Paul and the Apostle John; but my Heavenly Father has shown me stuff in dreams that were vivid enough to be considered as visions, which is actually nothing new for me. After all: where do you think that "dream" about what happened unto that Tyson Foods truck-driver in the Wolf Pen Gap area came from???
Anyway: one of the more significant of my more recent dreams was about me finding my mother's new glasses in her house after she had gone to town. Now, since I knew that she could not see very well with her old glasses: I decided to bring them unto her; but all I found was her pick-up truck. Much unto my surprise: a girl whom I had gone to high school with walked-up unto me; and when I saw what she was holding in her right hand: my surprise quickly turned into fear. For she was holding my mother's old pair of glasses, which were left on the counter of her florist shop; and that meant that my mother was blindly wandering around somewhere. My fears were unfounded, however. For my mother then walked-up unto where we were standing just like she could actually see where she was going.
The moral of the story? Not all of the spiritually blind will get lost along the way.
More importantly unto me: the "dream" was meant to end my worries about my mother's spiritual welfare. For the more she could not see the point that I had been given to make: the more concerned I became about where she would spend eternity.
Yes, like was said before: what I have been given to say is not meant for everyone at this time. In fact: not even my wife fully comprehends the magnitude of the message; nor does Blane, who has been given a great hunger for it for over 10 years now.
Nonetheless: I know that they will someday. For this has been personally revealed unto me while wondering about it. Hence: what it truly means to be constantly in prayer.
No, it does not have anything to do with staying on our knees for hours at a time. For the premise is based upon being acutely aware of our Heavenly Father's omnipresence (always present) on the inside and the outside of ourselves.
Yes, I may very well be certifiable; but I do have references. For just the other day I was shown where an aspirin had went immediately after asking where it was.
Unfortunately: not all of my prayers have been answered so satisfactorly. For when Arlynda and I were wed: I stood at least 6 feet tall; and I weighed around 210 pounds. 13 years and 128 days later: I now stand 5 feet 9 1/2 inches tall; and I weight close to 400 pounds.
Please, do not think that my morbid obesity is the result of eating everything in sight. For my wife eats 4-5 times more than I do each and every day.
Yes, I have been unto a doctor about my condition. In fact: I am currently the patient of 3 different doctors; and I have lost track of how many others I have went to in the past 14 years.
Not that it really matters. For I know that my ailments are of a spiritual nature.
In other words: there is really nothing that they can do for me until they are allowed and enabled to; but I have often wondered if that also applies unto their generally great lack of concern over just how much my health has deteriorated. For I have went from being able to dead-lift 610 pounds unto not having the strength to walk even 20 feet much of the time.
No, I have not been able to work for several years; and this is a burden that weighs heavily upon me. For it is so unfair unto my darling wife; but I still keep hoping for the best.
THE END
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