Come Monday...The Hysterical Channel

“Come Monday…” is a weekly series that will involve a review of (or commentary about) websites, movies, documentaries, television shows, sports, music, and whatever else may tickle my fancy at the time.  Be assured that these reviews will be generally positive, as in accordance to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday.”  This is subject to change, however.  In fact, I would be most derelict in my duties to neglect going on a rant every once in a while.  For rants promote change, and change can be good—right?  Therefore, since good is generally considered as being a positive force in 99.3% of the parallel universes that I am aware of, even a rant could be considered as being something positive, and a genuine hissy-fit would be even better (so I’m told).

Aside from suggesting the possibility of convulsive laughter involved, the use of hysterical in the description of something can also denote an acute break with reality.  It is on the basis of both counts that I now propose that [The History Channel] should become The Hysterical Channel.

Okay, it is not like it has not been a long time coming.  For what used to be a channel with very high quality programming has gradually become the home of such critically-acclaimed series as [Big Rig Bounty Hunters] and [Mountain Men] over the last 14 years that I have fairly intimate knowledge of.

Alas, it was in 1999 when I first caught sight of what The History Channel had to offer, and it was one of the biggest reasons for why I believed that life would not be well worth living (naturally-speaking, of course) without cable television after I had to come off of the truck in 2000 because of very poor health.  For I could not get enough of their documentaries on a rather broad range of subjects, and now, [The World Wars] seems to be the best they have to offer.

In all fairness, The World Wars would probably be a feast for the eyes of those without much knowledge of what really happened during [World War I] and [World War II], as well as the years in-between.  For its graphics and reenactments were generally very well done, but their version of the events from 1914 to 1945 left much to be greatly desired.

Let us take their account of the role that [Joseph Stalin] played in removing Russia from World War I and the complete take-over of the [Bolsheviks] soon after for an example.  For they had him joined at the hip with [Vladimir Lenin] when Stalin was actually a mid-level player at best until he eliminated (quite literally) his competition after Lenin’s death in 1924.

Now, this is not to say that The World Wars did not have its moments for me.  For I found the thought of [Adullamite’s] head exploding after him hearing them claim that the then Lt. Colonel [George S. Patton] had the Germans on the run for the first time in the war when he lead a tank brigade against their lines in northern France during the last year or so of World War I quite entertaining.  Oh, and their failure to mention that Patton’s tanks were French giving him gas, which would have undoubtedly came roaring out when the actor portraying Patton meeting with the then Brigadier General (one star) [Douglas MacArthur] on a World War I battlefield identifying himself as being Lieutenant Patton instead of Lieutenant Colonel Patton gave me an added chuckle or two.

Speaking of Patton, whoever did much of the writing and editing for the mini-series must have a huge crush on the old boy.  For Patton was given primary credit for taking Italy during World War II when he was just one cog in a very large gear.  Granted, it is arguable that Patton was a very big cog in any gear he was attached to, but he really did not do anything extraordinary during the Allied Italian Peninsula Campaign.

Oh, and aside from possibility having a huge crush of Patton, the responsible writers and editors must have hated the then General of the Army (five stars) [Dwight D.Eisenhower].  For even during their segment on [D-Day], I do not recall any mention of Eisenhower being involved in the least little bit, with them preferring to give most of the credit to [President Roosevelt] and some to [Prime Minister Churchill].

Yes, the absolute truth of the matter may very well be that I am just getting much older and crankier than I am willing to recognize.  For I had my own bout with head-explosivititis when during the watching of a [PBS documentary] on a recent expedition to find sunken ships and military equipment off of the coast of Normandy in France, I heard something mentioned about the Allies not having the use of modern Apache helicopters to place troops behind enemy lines making things very difficult for them.  Um, isn’t an Apache actually a [gunship], with room for only the pilot and gunner on-board?  Yeah, what difference would that make to one in the throes of hysteria?

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