Come Monday...Wahlburgers

“Come Monday…” is a weekly series that will involve a review of (or commentary about) websites, movies, documentaries, television shows, sports, music, and whatever else may tickle my fancy at the time.  Be assured that these reviews will be generally positive, as in accordance to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday.”  This is subject to change, however.  In fact, I would be most derelict in my duties to neglect going on a rant every once in a while.  For rants promote change, and change can be good—right?  Therefore, since good is generally considered as being a positive force in 99.3% of the parallel universes that I am aware of, even a rant could be considered as being something positive, and a genuine hissy-fit would be even better (so I’m told).

Arlynda and I were really looking forward to seeing [Wahlburgers] when we first heard about it several weeks ago, but after watching just the first two episodes, it turned out to be the proverbial straw that broke our proverbial camel’s back.  For not only do we now never want to see another episode of the unreality show, it has soured our enthusiasm for any show that [Donnie Wahlberg] has anything to do with.

That is really saying something—be assured.  For Donnie Wahlberg co-stars in [Blue Bloods], which we have loved.  He is also the executive producer/narrator/chief cook and bottle washer of [Boston’s Finest], which is a documentary that focuses upon the lives (both on and off the job) of several members of the Boston Police Department, and a show that has held a certain fascination for us (especially Arlynda).

I struggle to define (refine?) just exactly what it is about Wahlburgers that has had such a devastating impact upon us.  I suppose the most significant thing (at least to me) is the main theme to the show, which is to franchise [Paul Wahlberg’s] gourmet burger restaurant against Paul’s better judgment.

Yeah, it all makes for great entertainment when all reality is suspended.  For Paul has a really great thing going when his more famous younger brothers swoop in to take it nationally (and maybe even globally) without much consideration given to the fact that the main reason for why Paul’s gourmet burger restaurant is so great is Paul literally having a finger in every pie (so to speak).  Now, when it becomes possible to clone Paul, the franchising of his restaurant may work, but until then, trying to establish more than one location may ruin even the original location.

Donnie comes off as an egomaniacal manager while Paul freaks out over every little thing.  [Mark] flies in from movie shooting locations all over the globe from time to time to add his two cent’s worth of advice and have fair young maidens swooning in the parking lot over him, which really freaks out Paul.  Mama Wahlberg does her best to keep the circus from getting out of hand, but Ringmaster Donnie keeps on pushing Paul over the edge.

In all fairness, we have only watched the first two episodes, and the show may have settled into a much more realistic flow since.  On the other hand, that is evidently not what makes for a great unreality show in the eyes of the powers that be at the television networks.  For if it did, Wahlburgers would be much more about Donnie trying to get a good sear on a dozen hamburger patties without turning half of them into charcoal briquettes while Mark throws a hissy-fit over having to wash dishes again, with Paul and their mama grinning from ear to ear from the sheet delight of it all.  Sigh.

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