Come Monday...Artistic License?

“Come Monday…” is a weekly series that will involve a review of (or commentary about) websites, movies, documentaries, television shows, sports, music, and whatever else may tickle my fancy at the time.  Be assured that these reviews will be generally positive, as in accordance to the Jimmy Buffett song “Come Monday.”  This is subject to change, however.  In fact, I would be most derelict in my duties to neglect going on a rant every once in a while.  For rants promote change, and change can be good—right?  Therefore, since good is generally considered as being a positive force in 99.3% of the parallel universes that I am aware of, even a rant could be considered as being something positive, and a genuine hissy-fit would be even better (so I’m told).

This started out to be a confession of the fact that I am about as grammatically-hypocritical as one can be.  For over the years, I have been quick to think of those who would dare call my use of the English languish into question as being Grammar Nazis—especially when they had nothing to say about what I had been trying to say at the time.  Yet, here I find myself struggling to focus upon the content of others after I see that they do not see a need for the use of capital letters, such as: yet, here i find myself struggling to focus upon the content of others after i see that they do not see a need for the use of capital letters.

Will commas and periods be the next to go?  Yet, I hate the use of them in song lyrics and most poetry.

Alas, is it not ironic that English has been established as the universal language of commerce when it is such an extremely difficult language to master?  For “a meeting of the minds” is needed before a contract can be legally in place, and with English having so many different words meaning the same thing and completely different things—depending upon the context, is it not no wonder that the legal profession has become so lucrative?  Hey, be assured that if a criminal conviction can be set aside on account of a clerical error, which most certainly includes improper grammar, so can an iron-clad contract be broken on the same account.

The blame has to rest squarely upon the shoulders of school bullies.  For they love to make life miserable for nerdy types, and nerdy types are the ones who determine that one uses who when referring to the subject of a clause in a sentence, and whom when referring to the object of a clause.

I am, of course, just kidding about the blame resting upon the shoulders of bullies.  For the often asinine complexities to the English language are all part of our Heavenly Father’s plan for life in this world, but so very few want to hear anything about that—right?  Therefore, I will move along to something else.

So, what do you think of my first foray into post-modern impressionism?  I call it, Blue Smear on White, and I am sure that it will be worth millions when I become quite famous or the American dollar is devalued enough.

Speaking of revenge of the nerds, have you tried actually using an Adobe Photoshop Elements program?  Now, there is no questioning of just how much can be done with one, but being able to actually do something is another thing entirely.

Maybe it’s just me?  For many others must not mind having to take 47 steps in some very dark shadows before they can do something as simple as draw a straight line or Adobe would not have been able to sell millions of copies of the program.

Adding all the more to my creative constipation has been the Photoshop Elements 9 for Dummies book that I purchased to help me understand the vast mysteries to be beheld, and I soon discovered that one cannot find what they are looking for in the book unless they know just exactly what they are looking for.  For before one gets to the part about how to add and enhance text to an image, they must first wade through a lot of other “stuff” that may or may not have anything to do with it.  Furthermore, when one actually finds the part about how to add and enhance text, it is choked full of references to other things that may or may not have anything to do with adding and enhancing text.

Come on now, if one wanted to learn how to just drive a tractor-trailer rig across the street from such a book, they would have to wade through pages upon pages on how the brake system works before they could find how to simply release them.  No, you don’t even want to get started on how to start the engine—let alone how to give it more fuel!

On the other hand, maybe you do, and I can see where providing so much information can be beneficial.  For in order to operate a tractor-trailer rig in a safe and proper manner, one needs to know as much about everything that has to do with it as they possibly can, but for a novice merely wanting to do one or two very simple things, I’ll stick with Microsoft Word and/or Paint for now.

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