Saturday, December 26, 2009

Another North Pole Tragedy?

The following news report appears to be suspiciously similar to a report that I saw last year. Of course, I suppose anything is possible when it comes to Santa, but I would expect good news—certainly not this!

The following video contains images and testimony not suitable for most children and many adults. Proceed with caution.

Link: [On YouTube]

The Night Santa Went Crazy
Weird Al Yankovic
Down in the workshop
All the elves were makin’ toys
For the good Gentile girls
And the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in
Nearly scared ‘em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands
And cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots
He was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk
Disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said
With a twinkle in his eye
Merry Christmas to all
Now you’re all gonna die

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he’s been getting’ a raw deal
Something finally must’ve snapped in his brain

Well the workshop is gone now
He decided to bomb it
Everywhere you’ll find pieces
Of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers
And he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph
Into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer
With an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher
Just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower
And he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said
It tastes just like chicken

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can’t hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin’ in reindeer guts

There’s the National Guard
And the F.B.I.
There’s a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin’ ‘round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin’
The body count’s risin’
And everyone’s dyin’ to know
Oh Santa why
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes Virginia
Now Santa’s doin’ time
In a federal prison
For his infamous crime
Hey little friend
Now don’t you cry no more tears
He’ll be out with good behavior
In 700 more years
But now Vixen’s in therapy
And Donner’s still nervous
And the elves all got jobs
Working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus
She’s on the phone every night
With her lawyer
Negotiating the movie rights

They’re talkin’ ‘bout
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of getting’ gypped

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he was getting’ a raw deal
Something finally must’ve snapped in his brain
Something finally must’ve snapped in his brain
Tell ya
Something finally must’ve snapped
In his brain

Link: [Weird Al Yankovic]

Lyrics From: [A-Z Lyrics Universe]

Please Also Visit: [FishHawk Droppings]


  1. I guess I have a sick sense of humor because I actually find it amusing. Although I must say parts of it could describe the scene at my house around 2 a.m. this morning.

  2. Ho ho ho Merry Christmas and Happy Hols! :)

  3. Thanks for stopping by again, my dear Ann!!! Care to elaborate upon which parts? Was holly-jolly involved?

  4. Thanks for stopping, my dear Mariuca!!! I hope you and yours had a very Merry Christmas.

  5. Oh My...I must be like Ann...I actually found myself thinking it was sort of, in a very strange way, kind of cleverly written and funny...I think I have post-Christmas ho-ho-ho-eggnog-and sugar cookie hangover! :)

    Hope you had a very Blessed Christmas! :)

  6. Thanks for stopping by, my dear A.Marie!!! I hope you recover in time to see the new year in with a sparkle in your eye. Those post-Christmas ho-ho-ho egg nog and sugar cookie hang-overs can be rough.

  7. This is witty and funny. Borderline sick too? May be. But, I don't mind this. Thanks for sharing.

  8. LOL! I always wondered why Santa went for his unfair lot in life! Poor ol' guy! :)

    Happy Holidays to you and yours!!

  9. As with the rest of highly-respected media types, I just report what is put in front of me, my dear Bro. Thanks for stopping by again!!!

  10. Thanks for stopping by, my dear Gramma!!! I would suspect that there is more going on than what has been discovered so far. Perhaps he will write a book someday? Better yet, maybe Mrs. Claus will. For I have heard some fairly racy rumors about her and more than a few of the elves, but I am not at liberty to disclose any details at this time.

  11. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. By the way this was funny, don't tell anyone I said that LOL!

    Love and Blessings,

  12. Sounds good to me! Hope you had a great Christmas, my good man.

  13. Thanks for stopping by again, my dear AngelBaby!!! Yes, we had a good Christmas, and I hope you and yours had the same. (Don't worry, your secret about actually liking this news report on Santa is safe with me.)

  14. Thanks for stopping by again, my dear Auld Reekie Mike!!! We didn't have as good of a Christmas as you and your family did, but it was plenty good enough for us.


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