Link: [Barenaked Ladies]
Link: [On YouTube]
One Week
Barenaked Ladies
It’s been
One week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side
And said I’m angry
Five days since you laughed at me sayin’
Get that together
Come back and see me
Three days since the livin’ room
I realized it’s all my fault
But couldn’t tell you
Yesterday
You’d forgiven me
But it’ll still be two days
‘Til I say I’m sorry
Hold it now
And watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop
Think
You’ll think you’re lookin’ at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish
Although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
‘Cause it’s never touched a fryin’ pan
Hot like wasabi
When I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I’m all about value
Bert Kaempfert’s got the mad hits
You try to match wits
You try to hold me
But I bust through
Gonna make a break
And take a fake
I’d like a stinkin’ achin’ shake
I like vanilla
It’s the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show
‘Cause then you’ll know
The vertigo
Is gonna grow
‘Cause it’s so dangerous
You’ll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think
You’re funny when you’re mad
Tryin’ hard not to smile
Though I feel bad
I’m the kind of guy
Who laughs at a funeral
Can’t understand what I mean
Well you soon will
I have a tendency
To wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history
Of takin’ off my shirt
It’s been
One week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
And said you’re crazy
Five days since you tackled me
I’ve still got the rug burns
On both my knees
I’ve been
Three days since the afternoon
You realized it’s not my fault
Not a moment too soon
Yesterday
You’d forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait
‘Til you say you’re sorry
Chickity China
The Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick
And your brain stop tickin’
Watchin’ X-Files
With no lights on
We’re dans la maison
I hope the Smokin’ Man’s in this one
Like Harrison Ford
I’m getting’ frantic
Like Sting
I’m tantric
Like Snickers
Guaranteed to satisfy
Like Kurasawa
I make mad films
Okay
I don’t make films
But if I did
They’d have a Samurai
Gonna get a set
Of better clubs
Gonna find the kind
With tiny nubs
Just so my irons
Aren’t always flyin’ off the backswing
Gotta get in tune
With Sailor Moon
‘Cause the cartoon has got
The boom anime babes
That make me think
The wrong thing
How can I help it if I think
You’re funny when you’re mad
Tryin’ hard not to smile
Though I feel bad
I’m the kind of guy
Who laughs at a funeral
Can’t understand what I mean
Well you soon will
I have a tendency
To wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history
Of takin’ off my shirt
It’s been
One week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides
And said I’m sorry
Five days since I laughed at you and said
You just did just what I thought
You were gonna do
Three days since the livin’ room
We realized we’re both to blame
But what could you do
Yesterday
You just smiled at me
‘Cause it’ll still be two days
‘Til we say we’re sorry
It’ll still be two days
‘Til we say we’re sorry
It’ll still be two days
‘Til we say we’re sorry
Birchmount Stadium
Home of the Robbie
Link: [Weird Al Yankovic]
Link: [On YouTube]
Jerry Springer
Weird Al Yankovic
It’s been
One week since we got to see
Cheatin’ lovers
And cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite
The slut
And the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned
His woman was a she-male
Yesterday
It occurred to me
That I’ve been watchin’
A bit too much Jerry Springer
Holy cow
Did you see it last week
Well they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched
His whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all
And Jerry’s in the middle
Tryin’ to be the referee
Hey see the stripper with the implants
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry’s next guest
And it’s a slugfest
‘Cause it’s her trailer-trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack
It’s like when animals attack
They all exhibit
Reprehensible behavior
Hit ‘em in the nose
Tear off their clothes
Step on their toes
That’s how it goes
They get so violent
They have to sign a waiver
They’re always swearin’
Cursin’
Kickin’ butt
And pointin’ blame
On the air
They don’t care
They’ve got no shame
There was one guy
Who I’m sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife
Had a sex change
They have a tendency
To scream and yell constantly
They have a history
Of rippin’ off their shirts
It’s been
One week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins
And the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven’t got
The blood off of the wall
It’s been
Three days since the bitter feud
Between the KKK
And that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday
Finally dawned on me
I’m spendin’ way too much
On that Jerry Springer
Baby I’ve been sleepin’ with your sister
Oh well which one
All of them
Oh well I’ve been sleepin’ with your best friend Jake
Yah well me too
Oh
And I’ve been sleepin’ with your dog Woofie
Woofie You bitch
Well I’m sleepin’ with your pet goat
That goat doesn’t love you
Once you start watchin’
There’s just no stoppin’
Your brain shuts down
Then your IQ’s droppin’
Jerry’s the king of confrontation
He’s a sensation
He puts the sin in syndication
It’s totally worthless
Like a bad check
It’s like a train wreck
Don’t wanna stare
But you can’t look away
Like Sally Jesse
He does talk shows
But with more weirdoes
The ratings jumpin’ higher everyday
If you’ve seen the show
Well then you know
It’s just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky
And they’re lackin’ in their hygiene
And pretty soon
Some ugly goon
Comes in the room
And then it’s boom
In the face of some
Unsuspectin’ drag queen
Well it’s
The kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin’ hair
Throwin’ chairs at their hubbies
Jerry Jerry
Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV
I just can’t
I have a tendency
To watch it religiously
I have a history
Of tapin’ each one
It’s been
One weeks since the show about
Psycho killers with problems
That should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser’s wife
Said she’s still datin’ twenty guys
Three days since he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn stars midgets
Who were all nude
Yesterday
It occurred to me
That I’ve been watchin’
A bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin’ my time
On that Jerry Springer
I’ve got way too much class
To watch that Jerry Springer
Come over here
And pull on my finger
Lyrics From: [Sing365.com]
Please Also Visit: [FishHawk Droppings]
I'm going to go with Weird Al's version here. If for no other reason than because he's making fun of Jerry Springer. That's one of the most ridiculous shows
ReplyDeleteI'm with Ann here. sandie
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by again, my dear Ann!!! I agree, but I still consider the line in One Week, "I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve, I have a history of takin' off my shirt," as being one of the most clever ever.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by again, my dear Sandie!!! I used to watch the show a lot, but in all fairness, I was looking for relatives, friends and neighbors in case we needed to move.
ReplyDelete